Once More
by Lizzaphor
Summary: After Gemma gets raped, she tries to get to the Realms so she can die on Kartik's tree. Rated T for one small scene. Made out of boredom. R&R please


**A/N I do not own the Gemma Doyle trilogy; I just own this plotline. For those of you who care, I'm writing this as a little writing excersise to kill my writer's block on my two other stories. But mostly There Will Always be a You and Me. I'm stuck on that so maybe this'll help. Maybe. **

I thought New York City was a good idea. Prove my freedom and stay away from the realms for a while. I now know I was wrong. I should have stayed. I would have never ended up lying in an alley way late at night, broken, vulnerable, alone, confused, and dying.

I remember what happened all too clearly. I had made a new friend; she was very sweet, her name was Elizabeth, (how ironic,) but she preferred to be called Lizzy. I was going to meet her at the opera we were going to see.

So I was alone on the streets. At this point it wasn't that late and I was rushing to get to the theater because it was very cold. A man came up behind me.

"Hello, my sweet, why are you alone this late at night?" He had said. He was disgusting and slimy and foul smelling.

"Leave me alone, for my husband and officer of law will arrest you," I lied quickly, trying to cover my bluff and get this man to go on his way.

"Well, if he cared so much for you, why would he leave you here by yourself, my sweet?" He put his hand on my face, and I turned away from it.

"We believe that I can be married and have my own freedom, and I am not your sweet, now please go on your bloody way!" I said, turning.

"Ah, you're a feisty one, aren't you? By the end of the night, you'll learn that me calling you my sweet isn't the worst thing to come. If your husband really is an officer of law, then let him come. For the night, you are mine." He said, putting his hand around my waist and started to drag me.

"No, you bloody won't!" I had kneed him in the groin and he fell. I ran, but he quickly got up and jumped on me. I fell under his weight and he carried me into a dirty apartment. From there on was the worst night of my life. I screamed the whole time, especially when he gained enterance in me. That was the worst.

"Off of me you bloody fool! You ass! You horrid monster!" I yelled.

At the end of my torture, he made me clothe myself and stabbed me in the stomach.

"Now your officer of law husband shall never know what happened to you, my sweet. Thanks for such a wonderful night, dove." He said and dumped me in a dark ally.

Now I'm bleeding all over. I'm going to die and there isn't anything I can do. I was broken into and now I'm alone. I'm worthless to anyone. I miss Kartik. My lost love, gone from me forever. If only I can reach the door of light and see Kartik before I'm gone forever. I may go to the realms before I die, but I may not go to the realms once I die. Who knows, maybe I'll just cross over amidietly?

Now before I can't focus any longer, I'll focus on the door of light.

After a while of focus and pain, right when I stopped being able to focus because I couldn't breathe well, I saw it. I slowly crawled to it; that's all I could manage. Once I reached it, I almost fainted from the relief. I might feel better! I might live longer!

I walked through the door and gasped. The realms was just like it was the first time I came here. It was as if I was never here. But my mother wasn't here, and I knew it was a magical, wonderful dreamland it appears to be.

I walked torwards the river calmly, finding a boat and getting in it. I sailed off to the Winterlands, and I was prepared to die where Kartik was sacrificed.

I remembered seeing this all with wide, childish eyes. I wish I could have more time here.

The boat came into the familiar, scary cave. After sailing through it without seeing too much evil creatures, I walked towards Kartik's tree.

I sat down on it's roots and I could hear Kartik's sigh. I sighed and melted into the tree it felt like.

It felt like hours before reality set back in; I will die soon. My body started to convulse and I gagged. I don't know why but I did. I could feel Kartik getting frightened and I wish I could reassure him that I will be with him all too soon.

I watched as my life flashed before my eyes. Watching Mother get killed. Going to my home for the first time. Finding the realms. Fighting Circe. The Cave of Sighs. Pippa's death. Felicity, Annes, Pippa, and my adventures. New York. Kartik. Everything flashed so quickly and out of order I got confused.

Finally, my life started to drain from me and I was with Kartik in the tree once more.

**A/N Um yeah. Not my best work but this was written out of boredom. So review please! And I'm updating Jacob, I have Loved and There Will Always be a You and Me today… Hopefully. ;]**


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